Adoption: What You Should Know: It is extremely difficult for a teenage girl to make a decision to have a baby and to put him for adoption. It really requires much courage and love. But you are to know that adoption is permanent, and it will not always possible that you may see or visit your baby in the future. People, who adopt your child, will raise him and have all legal right and authority for his or her welfare.
It is not a secret at all, that pregnancy is the period of life, when a woman becomes extremely sensitive and emotional. If you are thinking about placing your baby for adoption only because you have some money problems, or because your present situation is tough, you are to be aware of the fact that the above mentioned problems may be temporary, and mind that you are expecting your native child, who is helpless, weak and loving you creature, and you may lose him forever. First of all you should call the Social Services and ask their advice, or you may ask your family or friends for a help. In case if you did everything and still want to place a baby for adoption, you will feel more content with this decision of yours.
You are to know that all adoptive parents are carefully screened and give all round information about themselves. Social workers visit their home several times and the parents must provide personal references. They visit lectures on the special nature of adoptive parenting before they adopt a child. the agency’s stuff knows the adoptive parents very well and feels confident that they will be good parents by the time it approved them for replacement.
If you place him or her for adoption your baby may wonder, but you are to know that nowadays adoption is quite different from what it was like 20 years ago. The majority of adopted children realize that parents, who had born them, placed them for adoption purely out of life, because they did not want to make abortion, and because it was the only way out for them. Your child will hopefully be able to realize that most of his or her good traits come from you. And in case if you have an open adoption, you will have a possibility to explain to him or to her why you choose adoption and maybe your child will understand and excuse you.
There are two main types of adoption: Confidential and Open.
It is the type of adoption when birth parents and people who adopt their baby never know each other. You have no information about adoptive parents, but they are provided with background information (like medical information) about you and the father of your baby in order to help them take care of your child.
It is when the birth parents and the adoptive parents know some information about each other. There are such levels of openness:
• Least Open – you do not know each other’s names, what you do is only read about several couples of adoptive parents for your baby and choose the one that sounds best for you and your child.
• More Open – you may speak with the adoptive parents on the telephone and may even exchange first names.
• Even More Open – your social worker or counsellor may even arrange the meeting with the possible adoptive parents.
• The Most Open – you and your baby’s future parents exchange your first and last names, your telephone numbers, and you may even stay in contact with them and with your baby. They may possibly let you meet with your child, call him or write him letters, emails, etc.
You can work either with any licenced child adoptive agency or directly with the people, who are going to adopt your future baby. There are several types of adoption agencies: they can be for-profit or non-profit, some of them also work with prospective adoptive parents of a definite religious group, race, nationality, but most of the adoptive agencies work with birth parents of all races, religions, nationalities, what you need is to be a citizen of the country you are going to deliver your baby and place him or her for adoption in.
When you visit the adoption agency, you are allowed to ask all questions, which bother you, but there are some general ones, situated below, which you should not forget to ask:
• Will I get support through my pregnancy term after I sign all the papers which allow my child to be adopted?
• What kind of financial, medical and legal help can I receive, if any?
• Will I be able to receive any information about the family (person), who is going to adopt my future baby?
• How can I know they are good people?
• Will It is possible for me to meet them at present or in case if I ever decide to?
• Will I ever be able to see my child or to have contact with him or her?
• Will I be able to receive any kind of information about my baby’s growth and development, and about how he or she turns in?
• What kind of information about me and my family will the people, who are going to adopt my baby, be provided with?
When you come to the adoptive agency, the social worker will ask you definite questions, in order to get some information about you and the father of your future baby. These questions are asked to place your baby with parents, who will be able to take complete care of him, and who will take special care in case of necessity. The questions will possibly be the following ones:
• What is your state of health?
• How old are you?
• What is your nationality?
• What are your physical characteristics?
• Did you see a doctor after you became pregnant?
• Have you ever been pregnant before or have you delivered a baby before?
• Do you smoke?
• Did you take drugs or drink alcohol since you became pregnant?
There are Private Adoption Agencies as well, and they mostly arrange infant adoptions. If you want to find Private Adoption Agency in the area you live in, the easiest way to do it to look in the yellow pages of your local phone book under the chapter “Adoption Agencies”.
If you want to arrange your baby’s adoption without taking any adoption agency into consideration, it means you will have to conduct an independent or private adoption. In the case of private adoption, you are to find an attorney, who will represent you. It would be better for you to find the attorney, who will not charge you a fee in case if you decide to keep your baby and not to place him or her for adoption. The finding of adoptive parents also depends on you, as you are to look for them.
If your baby is a child of colour there are many adoption agencies, which try to place a child of colour to a family, where at least one of the parents will be of the same race as the baby. Some of the adoptive agencies specialize only in looking for families for children of colour. There are some adoption agencies that have no policies about placing babies with families of the same race, as some people may want to adopt a baby of a different colour. If you wish, you may apply to one of such agencies.
But you should also be aware that not many families of colour want to adopt a baby. It may possibly be because they do not know that there are babies of some other race than European are available for adoption, or these people may also feel uncomfortable about the process of adopting a baby itself. The adoption agencies, which work with families of colour do all the best to let their communities know that there are children of different races, available for adoption. These agencies also try to make the adoption process easier and less confusing.