Like most expectant or new dads, you may have not the slightest assumption about what does being a father mean? All these ideas come from your father’s experience and from the point of view of society. Unfortunately, it is, but there are extremely few resources, which may really help a man to become a good father, and put all common myths to the test. You should simply keep in mind, that the more you examine and understand your personal expectations of fatherhood; the better is your chance to become the father you would like to be.
It is possible that one of the biggest myths is that there is only one suitable definition of the “good father” term. The reality is that there is not. You are to create your own ideas of being a father in a way, that would meet not only you need, but all the needs of your family as well – and you will manage to do it in no time.
Still, there are five common myths of fatherhood
Myth # 1: Only the Expectant Mother’s Feelings Are Important
You see all the tremendous changes of your wife’s body, and this makes you get focused on the birth process and you begin to think that her feelings and emotions are the only ones, which count. Your concern for her physical and mental state of health, which is, of course, important during the pregnancy period as well as during the postpartum period.
It is clearly easy to talk to any future father about his positive feelings of coming parenthood, however, it is much more difficult to give voice to the equally important and inevitable – to his feelings of fear and apprehension. There are a lot of men, who prefer to keep their concerns and fears to themselves, simply because they do not want to disturb their partner. But it is not right at all, as being a future father, you are not to be afraid of bordering your wife; simply remember, that most women do crave this kind of interaction because they do realize that coming fatherhood is quite a challengeable issue for every man. Do not be afraid to share your feelings with your wife, as she needs to be aware of them, and you need to give voice to them, this will help you avoid a lot of problems in your relationship.
Besides, you may talk to other future fathers or read books about fatherhood. You may also attend fathering classes. Remember, that when you give voice to all your concerns during pregnancy and early fatherhood, you challenge the myth of considering father’s feelings unimportant, and you lay the foundation for becoming an actively involved future dad.
Myth # 2: Newborns Do Not Really Need Their Fathers
You see the extremely intense connection baby with his or her mother, especially if your wife feeds the little one with her breast, and the result of all these scenes is that you begin to think if your family really needs you. Be sure, they do: your partner, as well as your little newborn baby, require your love attention greatly. Remember, that you are one of the most important people in your son’s or daughter’s life, you are the one, who brings comfort and soothes the child. if you want to bond with your little one, simply hold and rock him as often as possible, coo at him, but it is extremely important to make all these after he eats, so, that you will have his full attention. These games after a meal will also let your wife have some rest and regain energy after breastfeeding. You can even help feed your baby, if your wife expresses milk into a bottle, or if the little one is fed with formula feeding. There is also a possibility to help your little one indirectly by helping your wife about the house. Remember that the less the woman works about the house, etc, the more energy she has, the more nurturing it is for her and for your baby. and you are always to keep in mind, that it is you, who make differences in the whole family.
Myth # 3: Men Do Not Know How To Care For Young Children
This assumption often prevents fathers from having a close relationship with their babies, and it also causes unnecessary anxiety for young mothers, who become afraid of men being not able to take care of little babies. Even such a well-known paediatrician and one of the best selling authors, Dr Spock considered men to produce “clumsiness” around little children, changed his opinion in his following books. And you must do the same. It is well known, that there are many fathers, who are primary caregivers to their babies. Spending more time with your children, you become more and more aware of their needs. To begin with, you should choose one of the childcare tasks, which will be purely yours to fulfil.
Myth # 4: Men Who Focus On Their Children, Cannot Make it In The Work World.
Men consider work to be their main source of worth and self – esteem. There is a kind of opinion in our society, that those men, who sacrifice their work and choose family over their career, do it purely because they are not able to make any success in the work field. But the great shift of cultural norms will begin in no time. Nowadays more and more men consider parenthood a worthy issue, and the role of the father in our society becomes more considerable. There are men, who chose to spend time with their family, and trade their career advancement; and they do it not because they are bad workers, but simply because they value the fulfilment, they discover in being a father.
Myth # 5: You Are Destined To Be Just Like Your Own Father.
You may possibly consider your father’s behaviour after you become a dad yourself. And it is quite natural to follow in your dad’s footsteps, but it is not necessary to make your own father an example, a primary role model of a parent. The only thing he does is he may influence what kind of dad you will be. In order to create your own model of a good father, you should look at all the people, who had been raising you: your granddads, coaches, teachers, friends, uncles, older brothers, etc. you may also read books, and maybe you will find some example there. What you are to do is never stop, you must keep challenging with yourself, do all your best to become the father you wish to be!
To make you feel better, maybe you should get to know, that there is no ideal model of fatherhood. There are bunches of peoples, cultures, beliefs in the world, and each of them has its own approach and consideration.
However, what you are always to do is that you must choose only what is best for your family. Look at fatherhood, as at a role you will grow into after you explore all the possibilities available. Take only positives from your family’s history, from your father, from all your friends and relatives, and do your best to become a really greatest dad on earth!